In many domestic relationships money is a cause of many arguments.What does financial or economic abuse imply? Firstly ,what does a domestic violence abuser aim for?Their main goal in this case, is to gain and maintain control over their intimate partners finances .They desire to do so using different strategies:
- Whenever they get angry,they will scream or shout at you,throw at you items,break things ,spill contents like foodstuffs or tear up items like your clothes.Their main aim is to prove they can do what they like with your purchased property and you can do nothing about it.
- They divide the cash for personal care with the victim getting a very small portion of it,no consent,no discussions..
- The abuser controls all bank credit and debit cards including insurance cards,all certificates even educational.
- The victim has to hand over their salary,transfer all money into victims account or give it cash.They ensure you have no emergency outlets and are totally under their dominance.
- The abuser will force the victim to take on loans and use their cards fraudently to purchase items such as mobile phones and betting games.
- In some cases the victim is prevented from working or limits her ever getting a promotion ,therefore more pay as she is not a team player and has lost self-confidence due to relationship abuse.
- A victim is likely to lose her job due to abseteeism due to illness related to abuse.
- The victim might be working,even have their own account but they can not pay for extra online skills courses, or attending seminar or pay for the gym.The abuser makes all decisions on that account.
- Abuser controls the victims activities even private ones like in self-help women`s group.Monies recieved in form of loans goes into abusers pocket.
- Dictates all purchases and controls receipts and shopping basket
What Safety plan can the Victim make?WITHOUT RAISING THE ALARM.
Remember :the following will happen only if you are willing to change your situation and do it wisely.Only you can make the first step towards getting help.
- Journal every thing :feelings with dates and times when you are hurt.It is your record but hide it.
- Access your whole financial situation.Write it down and put it in a secret place
- Set up a way to communicate privately with family,advocate,doctor ,sibling, best friend;let them know everything.
- Open a bank account with a different bank only for savings.
- Use a c/o address of a trusted person to recieve correspondances,letters,e.g your parent.
- Have a credit card in new name paid on time so your credit card report is good.(for the future)
- Put a clause that prohibits any other credit card by denouncing the old with your old signature.
- Approach a domestic violence organization, to help you and also connect you with other women groups,provide you with shelter when you are ready to move and be legally there for you.
- Start saving small amounts into your account even if it is 10 euro a week,10 shillings however; small it is better than nothing.
- Call Hotline numbers or the police if you ever sense Today is Dangerous!.
Your have a life and a right to all liberty including financial freedom .
