Pregnancy During & After Abuse

Pregnancy is a very delicate time in a woman`s lifetime.It is even more so, once the child is born.She is adjusting both mentally and physically to her new state and it is a fact that a lot of women experience domestic violence and abuse  in many forms that go unreported.

• Verbal abuse
• Belittling the woman telling her how ugly & fat she is .
• Telling the woman to keep off as she smells due to baby milk.
• Forced sex in late pregnancy within a short period after giving birth.
• Physical beating; kicks to the stomach and blows to swollen breasts.
• Victims denied money to purchase fruits and eat enough foods.
• Some women not allowed extra help in the house  for tough chores
• A woman forced not to cuddle or suckle her new born baby .

SEEK HELP!I
How An immediate SAFETY PLAN & KNOW Yourself:

1. Recognize the forms of sexual ,verbal,financial and physical abuse.
2. Avoid the health issues in later years as the body retains abuse,one day it breaks down with mental issues and other traumatic related problems.
3. You are Protected by the State and  Need to Talk to your doctor,social health worker or friend.
4. Seek  a friend or sibling to stay with during the healing period.In African culture this was a special period of being pampered.Use this as the reason you are going away.
5. A support person could come stay .A good idea since most abusers are hypocrites. Their public image is very important so you are bound to be safer.
6. He might start coming late home ,or distancing himself.He will most probably blame you for everything.It does not have to make sense to you.What matters is you and the baby`s safety.
7. If he constantly mistreats you,let him know that it is affecting you and you will speak about it to someone you know he respects and fears.If he is rude,do it.
8. If there is physical violence ,Report To The Police .Period! Not to your friends but the POLICE.A lot of these women abusers are cowards.They fear the cops and they care what people will say.Period!
9. Reporting is your ace card.These matters are recorded and incase the problems escalate you have records in a court of law.
10. If you can not sleep ,you are scared ,feel suffocated ,Please Call or Visit An Advice Center nearest to you. If you need a place to stay ,they will get  you into a shelter home .(plus other children if any)inclusive of  professional help.
11. *****An Abuser gets a lot of encouragement and pride to their ego if they know it is unreported.Your fear gives them a great desire  to hurt you more.
12. They need professional help and you can help them by reporting or them seeking anger control therapy.
13. Pregnancy and after pregnancy requires a peaceful homestead,and this is non-negotiable.
14. .You are a child of the universe with a gift of a child that needs your protection .You have a responsibility for that unborn or toddlers safety.
15. ****If you think your intimate partner is trying to get you pregnant again,without your consent,speak to the doctor or at the health personnel.They are aware of such cases and will be able to help you identify safe and undetectable contraceptive methods that do not interfere with your child`s feeding choices.

NOTE:You Know Your Situation Best.We can only give ideas and suggestions.The Decision to Recieve Help must come from you.

*Link :Summarized notes on Article safety During Postpartum by Rebecca Donley.National Domestic Violence Hotline.