Day 5:Children,Teens,Youth,Adults:What Are DVA Victim Signs?

The worst part about Domestic Violence And Abuse(DVA), is that It is NOT so visible if we as a society Do Not become better listeners and conscious non-judgemental observers.In this blog post you will discover tell tale the Signs of DVA in the different age groups.We are not qualified social workers,doctors or authorities but we are neighbors,friends ,siblings ,parents,teachers etc and we must readjust,and be each other keepers in our communities.In the digital era,there is also a decrease in face to face verbal communication even in the homes replaced by texting and video talks.However,one crisis has escalated along covid-19 pandemic and migration in search of dignity,and that is:Domestic Violence Abuse globally.It is your and my responsibility to educate ourselves at all levels and take some action to stop it .

CHILDREN–

• Child appears very withdrawn sad,often teary.
• Apathy:a lack of childishness, feeling or emotion
• Extremes in behaviors -throwing things and banging head etc
• Crazily happy and unruly.
• Strong crying ,inner agony.
• Emotional dependance..
• Avoidance of visual contact
• Indiscriminate attachement to gender
• Passiveness too polite and too quiet
• Over excitement and upsetting
• Difficulty in eating
• Poor health and hygeine.
• Flinching/compressed when one of the parent appears.

Adolescents or Teens.

• Aggressive .Defiant.uncooperative
• Withdrawal.
• Inability to attach to  same age-mate groups
• Fear of failure
• Substance abuse
• Distracted
• Shrink from even the slightest physical contact
• Crying without provocation
• Suicidal ideas or gestures
• Frequently running  away from home.
• Injuries for which explaination is inadequate.
• Crave unusual amounts of  attention.
• Report caring for younger siblings with no child play time.
• Appear extensively listless or tired
• Described as “accident prone”
• Seem inadequately dressed for the weather
• Demonstrate poor hygeine or smell of urine

YOUTH

• Apathy
• Extreme introversy-withrawal .
• Extreme Extroversy -attention seeking and loud
• Coming to school early and staying late to avoid home.
• Aggressive and Anti-social behavior.
• Seek adult connections more than age mates.
• Running away from home,school drop outs .
• Frequent disciplinary problems in school.
• Self harm.
• Frequent bruises.
• Awkard movements when walking
• Low achieving grades.
• Regressive or immature behavior
• Exceptionally secretive
• Sleep problems/nightmares
• Crying without provocation.
• Aura of sadness.
• Suicidal ideas and gestures
• Cruelty to animals especially pets
• Self mutilation
• Drugs and Substance abuse
• Alcohol consumption.
• No respect for adults especially women or girls.

ADULTS

• Sadness,Constant crying.
• Inability to maintain long -lasting and satisfying relationships.
• Apathy:-lack of feeling,emotion,interest ,or concern about something.
• Sexual difficulties
• Suffer anxiety and related effects like sudden shivering or sweating
• Poor self-esteem and low self worth.
• To cope with inner pain and block abuse may turn to heavy drinking and /or
• Drug and substance abuse
• Self-harming.
• Eating disorders
• Suicidal
• Depression
• Sudden bouts of anger.
• Frequent fighting and attacks on others.
• Fear especially of bosses or authority.
• Distrust  and defeated attitudes.
• Argumentative
• Inability to assert themselves and/or indifference
• Unkempt hair and body.
• Abuse of alcohol and/or drugs and other substances.
• Lie about being abused
• Cheating as a way of silent revenge
• Do not attend out of work activities.
• Constant whispered phone conversations
• Jumpy if you suddenly touch them.
• Defensive of their partners,children or siblings obvious abusive behavior.

If you observe these symptoms try to approach the victim with compassion and care.Normally they will be very isolated,so seek mild,warm ways to strike conversations without direct questioning.Build a friendship .Visit or invite them without being intrusive.Respect their privacy.Look for common things to do together even a walk.Talk about movies,exchange books or good programs .Pray for them at home sending compassion .Your kindness will help them one day open up to you.Be A good Listener.Kind Words.