Power & Control;Blocks 5-8

POWER & CONTROL IS THE ABUSER`S DESIRE OVER THEIR INTIMATE OTHER

BLOCK NO 5:-USING EMOTIONAL ABUSE.

• Putting you down-demeaning you to unworthiness
• Making you feel bad about yourself-low self-esteem
• Calling you names-verbal abuse
• Playing mind games-making you paranoid
• Making you feel guilty-uncertainity and doubtful.
• Humiliating you-leading to self -hate
• In LGBTQ intimate relationships:-QUESTIONING YOU-Are you  a “Real”Lesbian,”Real”Man,”Real”Woman,”Real”Femme,”Real”Butsch;etc
• Reinforcing internalized Homophobia,Biophobia or Transphobia.

BLOCK NO 6:-USING ISOLATION.

• Controlling what you do,Who you see or Talk to.
• Limiting your outside activities
• Using Jealousy to control you
• Making you account for your whereabouts
• Saying no one will believe you and that you are their property.
• The above is especially common to intimate lesbian,gay, bisexual or trans relationships
• Not letting you go anywhere alone
• Appearing unannounced at private gathering eg a work party etc

BLOCK 7:-USING CHILDREN:

• Making you feel guilty about the children  e.g hurt when playing outside.
• Using children to relay messages usually of a demeaning kind .
• Threatening to take away the children.(usually why abused never leave)
• For LGBTQ
• Threatening to tell the ex-spouse ,parents , work place or authorities that you are lesbian,gay,bisexual or trans so they will take the children

BLOCK 8:-DENYING:MINIMIZING & BLAMING:

• Making light of the abuse
• Saying it did not happen
• Shifting responsibilty for abusive behavior
• Saying it is your fault,you deserved it
• Accusing you of mutual abuse
• Saying it is just “fighting” and not abuse.
• In LGBTQ relationships:-Saying women can´t abuse women,and men can´t abuse men.

Do you identify yourself in any of these abuses? If Yes , it is important that you come out of Denial.You are and can be Courageous enough to talk to Someone about what is happening in your relationship.The intimate relationship could be “Dating” or a relative or sibling or grown child  living with you.Where children minors  remember it is your responsibility to ensure they are well nurtured.AN ABUSIVE PERSON IS NOT A LOVING PARENT,”No EXCUSES!”.Children Become Victims as WITNESSES to Domestic Violence and Abuse.This has long term effects ,what is termed trauma.ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT.Seek Help!