The Hidden Truth
"Why We Dont Talk About Domestic Violence "
Domestic violence and Abuse, even though we are at an age where everything is exposed globally, remains a taboo, a family issue that indirectly forbids any publicity or justice for that matter. In Germany, domestic violence wears A MASK. In African communities, it wears SILENCE.
As an African woman, a survivor of domestic violence in my home country and Germany, I have refused to be silent and, through active writing, to unmask domestic violence, primarily where I reside in Germany, and how it affects my African migrant community. It is highly masked in inter-racial intimate relationships. The very thought that it can exist in a first-world country is not perceived until the knot is tied.
Why the masking and silence? There are a few significant factors. Shame that one could undergo DVA in a first-world country. How do you convince your family and friends that this is possible in these advanced countries? Cultural pride: a traditional value of protecting the image of your marriage, plus the learned non-verbal disclosure code of “do not wash your dirty linen in public!”.There is also the fear of deportation if one is financially or visa status dependent on their spouse. Then there is the tactic of Abuse that perpetrators use by isolating their targeted victims, in this case, their partners.
The above are just a few forms of domestic Abuse. Still, the perpetrator’s rule is the same: Control their “targeted” victim, and maintain power over them through emotional, psychological, physical and other subtle or coercive methods.
The Myth: “Talking about it disgraces the family”.
Reframe: “Talking about it brings healing. It exposes the Abuse. It helps you get protection and assistance, e.g., legal aid and counselling.”
Call to Action: “Our Silence Protects No One” – Let’s unmask it together. Check out the various articles on this website and be informed of your rights.”
You Are Not Alone!
Your Safety is your Legal right in Germany.
Support exists for men as well.
Helplines: 08000116016 (in 17 languages).
Frauenhaüser: Women’s Shelter
Männerhaüser. Men’s Protection Centre
Counselling Centres: Diakonie.AWO.Caritas.
Migrant-Specific NGO, e.g SOLOWODI, TERRE DES FEMMES, AGRISA
Kenyan Women in Germany e.V: DVA Team: Charity Latz (sms/call) +4917664980529
