Minimizing and Rationalizing are the Victims Strategy to Survive and Stay Sane.You want to Help,What Can You Do?
- BE PATIENT.Getting out of a Relationship is not easy.It can take months ,even years.
- EDUCATE THEM:Never ask them “Are you a victim of domestic violence?”This is not a normal relationship ,but remember,they maybe can not see that.Just read articles with them here and give them time to reflect.
- REASSURE THEM:If they start talking be soft toned.Let them know it is not their fault,they did nothing wrong and they do not deserve the abuse and you are there to help them.
- Calmly Tell Them The Truths:-a)Abuse is a choice b)It is Not a chemical dependency.
- FACTS:Tell them they are not alone.1 in 3 woman and 1 in 4 men experience domestic violence and stalking at least once in their lifetime.
Support Questions to Do and/or Ask
- CALL The Police:A Violent Assault is currently happening/An Abuser has a dangerous weapon .This Is A PRESENT SITUATION:DO IT NOW!
- If YOU Only SUSPECT:Do Not Call The Police!!! ,You have not witnessed.This is likely to cause more harm than good.Enrage the abuser further .Endanger the victim and You could become a target .
- I You Are Genuinely Concerned.Call the hotlines and tell them your Observations and Concerns.
- AVOID GOSSIP: If you can not help with all the above.ZIP!Do not discuss this with friends,that is gossip.
- Approach Them:Let your neighbor /friend genuinely know you are concerned.Give them your number and let them know they can call you if they ever need help.
- SAFE PLACE :Make them aware there are safe places for them.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO GIVE UP !Please DON`T.Consider the following reasons why leaving seems impossible or impracticable to a victim.
- Abuser has threatened to harm or kill them should they leave.
- Abuser has threatened to harm or kill their ,children,pets or family.Nowhere to live
- Nowhere to go if they live.
- No money ,dependent on the abuser.
- No transportation or new to area.
- Still believe the abuser can change.
- Believe the abuser is having a bad day or in midlife crisis.
- Pressure from family or church never to leave a matrimonial home.
- Fearful of losing child custody,
- May feel shame or embarasment
- or they are unaware of their options, especially if they are new to the city or country.
- Never Tell Them To Leave…The Idea must come from them.
- *****Bottom line:Only The Victim Knows The Safest Time for them To Leave.
