Journaling daily helps, especially when you start experiencing discomfort in your life, whether it is an illness or you realise something is amiss in your home environment. “Am I in danger”? “Who is this person, and what is happening”?
- Secretly journaling your thoughts, emotions, and hurtful incidents will not only help you answer complex questions in the future but will help you stick to reality by refreshing your memory.
- When you decide to forgive, you will do it wisely and safely by choosing not to forget the truth as you know it.
- Journaling helps us set boundaries in our future relationships and know our weaknesses and strengths.
- Journaling is your authentic, unapologetic story, even when others do not believe you, or your abuser tries to confuse and manipulate you, calls you insane, a liar and often declares you paranoid.
- The questions Why..? Who..? When..?What..?are specific, direct and personal questions.
- These questions are not meant to endanger, criticise or judge you but to clarify. They are parameter questions, a compass, and will help you re-focus on your person.
- They will unmask the abuse and unearth the hypocrisy and manipulation.
- They will expose the true characteristics of your abuser by shinning a light on the red flags. You will be able to recognise the strategic prey you were at the hands of this predator and how the hunter targeted you.
- Abusers aim to hurt, maim or kill their victims, who are honest, vulnerable, and caring people.
- Your answers will help you to forgive yourself and not blame yourself.
- They will help you see your limits and that you are in danger and need to take a step of faith and seek help in the right places.
If it is physical abuse, stalking or verbal abuse that in any way makes you feel threatened, report to the authorities / the police. It is also advisable to tell someone about the abuse and the actual state of affairs at home. You might also need to consult a doctor and ask for sick-off days and a lawyer for legal advice—Google Domestic Violence Hotline for guidance. Read the article “Safety Plan” on this website.
- Your Journal is your memory, and it will keep you in action even if you have seasons of peace, “honeymoon” that distract you, journal; that too. The pattern and the game of power and control will, in the end, be unmasked. It’s a war. You have no tools, nor did you bargain to be in one. But you now have the information. Take your control back by asking for help.
- Big Hug of LOVE
