“Icing” & What does it mean in relationships

“ICING” happens when one partner decides to be immature sulky,and selfishly does not communicate their thoughts. It is childish and hurtful behaviour when a  grown-up chooses to shut down their partner whenever there is a disagreement. It is a weapon used by an abuser to distance themselves emotionally. It leaves the victim getting this kind of treatment feeling confused because they do not know what they did wrong. The victim also starts adapting a “guessing habit”; trying to think of the best ways to act or speak, so they may not annoy their loved one. Icing means the partner usually goes stone-cold on their victim for hours, days or even, in some cases, a month.
The Abuser’s Common Trends. They;

• will leave the house without saying bye or hello when they come in.
• Will not leave a message informing their partner of their whereabouts.
• Will start eating their meals away from home.
• Will deny their partner conjugal rights or.
• Will do the act without any emotions only for their satisfaction.
• Might use “icing” as an excuse to have an affair outside the relationship.

TIP:-It is advisable for Victims to keep a journal; it will help them note the typical days, standard times when “icing ” starts and ends, and what happens during that period. For example, does it occur nearing the weekend or a public holiday?

If you are in this stressful relationship, please make an appointment to speak to someone. A family therapist could be a good start. Awareness means that you make no excuses for this behaviour. It falls under the category of Emotional Abuse, and it is detrimental to your health. Abusers know what they are doing to their victims. They know how this will affect them and turn them into puppets willing to please them. Abusers are deliberate in their power and control strategies.

You deserve respect. If there is no communication in a relationship, then something is seriously wrong.  As a victim, draw a line, what is unacceptable to you, and choose to make a change. Get Help for guidance. Do not accept this emotional torture. If the Abuser, because this is emotional abuse, does not need to change, you need to change. Stick to your standards and allow none to violate your dignity.